I made a salad last week. I know you’re probably thinking that’s no big deal, but I never really liked salad, and here I am making it a meal. I’ve been multi-tasking, and starting to cook, I’ve been assigning extra homework to my first grader out of the 2nd grade work book. I’ve got a sway and a bounce to my walk, neither used to be there. I prefer my natural kink, over processed hair. I’ve slightly altered my wardrobe, to things I never used to wear. And when I’m home relaxing, old school music & incense fill the air. I’m tempted to have a glass of wine, even though I don’t drink. I’ve got a taste for Merlot or White Zinfandel, I think.
I find myself singing tunes that ride over old school beats, toe-rings used to annoy me, now I wear em on my feet. I’ve decorated my apartment, much like the house I grew up in, the rugs, the paintings, the color scheme and linen. I’m becoming much like my Mother, from my looks, to my living. Whatever God made her from, doesn’t exist anymore, not in heaven, not in life, not at your favorite local store. She is a woman’s worth. A queen and much more. She’s always been better than other women I know, how she thinks, creates and the measures she is willing to go. I was not raised by a granny, or auntie or stranger… never touched or abused, or encountered danger. It’s all because of her, and her commitment to be, the best, most attentive mother, she could possibly be. She provided, she taught, she disciplined because she loved me.
And I’m so proud of everything it means to be much like her. A woman of humility, an over-comer. A warrior, an idol, a teacher, a Queen, every thing many girls want their mother’s to be. My hero, my friend all the time. My Mommy, My mama- Blessed to call her MINE! The love that she gives, it is hard to explain, she suffocates me in her wisdom, and kisses fall like needed rain. Her hugs are TOO tight and from her heart, there’s no escape. Because of her unfailing love, I am so much better, from the time I was in her womb she will love me forever. And that in itself is more than I will ever need. I’m unstoppable and progressive, because she is FOR me!
She came up from nothing, but always made a way. I’m reminded of her strength and bravery today. Never afraid to take the high route or go the other way. Never cared what they thought or the things they would say. I truly believe her insides are made of gold, she took the south Omaha projects and even made it home, she’s never lied to get over or put her children on hold. She does what’s in her reach and beyond that, and she does it well. If she is ever unhappy, to an outsider, it’s hard to tell. She always smiles bright and hides her hurt well. . but to me I can always see it, from deep within her eyes, the longing, the restlessness, the silent cry. So what’s mine is hers, I never hold back from my Queen, she deserves the world and a half, and until it’s hers, I won’t sleep.
She always told me being a mother, didn’t come with a manual, but there’s not a single thing that occurred, that mama couldn’t handle. She was always clutch, even when times got rough. Not enough to make ends meet, but mama made it enough. When I look in the mirror, I smile at my glow- – I look like Mama, my brown eyes and pointed nose. When I dress myself, I think of the times I watched her dress, play in her closet, and make a mess! I can’t do my make-up yet, but used to watch her do hers, ask questions and try on lipstick, probably getting on her nerves.
Every memory of my Mama is a happy one for me, I may have disliked the struggle, but it’s what made me. I have never loved a woman more, or had someone I’d want to be, but everything about her, is magical to me! The things that upset me, the things that make me smile- they all come from a place that I’ve known for a while. I favor my Father, but it doesn’t go further than that. From biological make-up to my physical shape, from my skin tone to my temper and the faces I make, I am my mother’s daughter- a young Verna Gay. The more thought I gave to it, I sat in denial. But I am undoubtedly blessed, to be my mother’s child.
Happy Mother’s Day, to the most caring, self-sacrificing, & unconditional loving woman to ever grace this earth. Those who simply meet you are better because of it. You’re truly a blessing from the Heavens. Thank you, for loving me, raising me and giving of yourself so freely. I am, because you ARE.
Forever yours in Queendom