As women, we have the divine responsibility to care for, build up and prioritize ourselves. There isn’t another person on the planet to do it for us. We find time to do it for others, but no one finds the time to do it for us, especially women of color. Our partners, our parents, our children, our employers and our community rely on us to prioritize and maintain them. This guide is a reminder and starting place for us to give a little to ourselves. I might also add that when we do, we create the capacity to function, serve, and live as our best selves. Everyone benefits from our dedication to caring for ourselves, including us.
I have been making an effort to care for me and to intentionally and privately create space for the women in my immediate circle. I have noticed an increase in violence, harm, evil and death. This reality makes me anxious. It overwhelms and sometimes suffocates me. In my own home-town there’s an influx of gang violence and homicide. The community that birthed me is riddled with loss, daily. I have had to find ways to stay positive and breathe life into myself. This unfortunate chain of events, so close to home, has required me to reflect on the necessity of self-care, self-love, respect and community. It’s also required me to consider how invaluable time really is. I want to spend the time I have left on this earth loving, creating, resting, laughing, being present, building and giving. I can’t do these things with an empty cup. I can’t love on my husband, laugh with my children or build and give to my community with an empty cup. I can’t be present with friends and rest in God, with an empty cup. I can’t create and be the best version of myself on “E”. My hot-girl summer goals are rooted in care for myself. My goals are grounded in self-prioritization and realignment with my purpose. Finding time to renegotiate boundaries with loved ones, creating space and capacity to lean into love. Prioritizing the people and things that prioritize me & more.
You all may recall my transition from a year ago. I walked away from a full-time leadership role and promised to create balance for myself. Not the kind talked about in a book or dreamed about in a movie, but real, intentional balance. For me, that meant having time, money and energy to be present both personally and professionally. It meant making money and time, doing things I like to do. More importantly it meant managing my many responsibilities in a way that didn’t require me to take-a-way from myself. I was tired of feeling empty. I was tired of being bitter. I was tired of putting myself on the back-burner and blaming the people and things around me that needed my attention [ for more on this transition, read Becoming ]. So, I became and continue to become the best me that I can be. This requires a re-evaluation of where I am and where I am going.
At Queens Do Things Inc. an effort to practice what is preached is always a top priority. We are therefore sharing this guide with women everywhere in hopes that we might all take a step closer to becoming the women that we are ordained to be. We hope that you’ll use this guide as a road map to building your own self-care routine for the summer. Social media has become a place where imbalance is easy. It is exhausting to virtually dwell in if you’re not careful. We wanted to provide a guide that encourages and reminds women everywhere to breathe, relax, progress and be. Self-care isn’t all about spa days and elaborate vacations. Sometimes self-care is saying no. Sometimes self-care is setting boundaries with the people around you. Sometimes it’s getting selfish with yourself. I couldn’t imagine a Hot Girl Summer without happiness & I can’t imagine true happiness without self-care.
If you’re reading, please use the comment section below to share the ways in which you care for your self. What does your summer consist of? What does self-care look like for you?